Phuckit Fried Rice
- davoodtabeshfar
- Mar 22
- 2 min read
Phuckit Fried Rice is less of a recipe and more of a dare: Look in your fridge for interesting bits and pieces and say "Phuckit, I'll chuck it in." And know that if it's less than your best effort, at least you gave those bin-bound leftovers a second chance at life.
The only mandatory is that the leftover cooked rice is at least a day old. Freshly cooked rice just doesn't have the backbone for hot wok gymnastics; it'll turn into a mushy clump.
I made my last fried rice with leftover roast chicken, bacon, peas and spring onions, but you can use what you have.
Pork, beef, fish, firm tofu, prawns, squid, chinese sausage and spam are all good. And of course the egg. Vegetables? What have you got? Peas, leek, bok choy, peppers, green beans, cabbage, carrots... all or any of them.
If you're feeling flamboyant, chilli, fresh pineapple and corriander bring the razzle-dazzle to leftover rice.
Ingredients (suggestions, not orders)
3 cups of day-old cooked short grain rice
1 cup diced leftover roast chicken
2 rashers of bacon, diced
2 eggs, whisked
1 cup chopped spring onion (I like it a bit chunky so it's a feature, not just a flavour)
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
Half cup frozen peas
2 tbsp oyster sauce
1 - 2 tbsp soy sauce
3 tbsp canola or vegetable oil
1 tsp sesame oil
Half tsp MSG if you have it
Method
Heat the wok until it starts to smoke, then your first tablespoon of canola. Tilt and rotate to coat the sides.
Pour in the whisked egg and quickly stir to scramble. Remove and set aside.
Add another glug of oil to the wok and cook the chicken and bacon. Toss and stir until browned. Remove and set aside.
Add the final glug of canola, and throw in the garlic and spring onions. Keep tossing and stirring so it doesn't burn. After 30 seconds or so, add the rice and break it up with a spatula.
Return the egg, chicken and bacon to the pan, followed by all the remaining ingredients.
Toss and stir well, distributing the yummy bits evenly. Then, stop stirring for 10 seconds at a time and allow the rice to char for that classic smoky flavour the Cantonese call 'wok hei'.
And you're done.
