Persian Chicken Salad

The Russians would claim this salad as their own, and to an extent they'd be right. But as with kebabs, moustaches and patriarchal theocracies, the Persians* took an idea and really, really ran with it.

In the case of kebabs, moustaches and Persian chicken salad, I think they elevated the concepts to high art.

Not so much with the patriarchal theocracy.

Surprise surprise, the starting point for this recipe is leftover chicken. Now before you start bitching that I did chicken last week, get used to it, buddy. In the US, UK and Australia, chicken is by far the most leftover meat in our fridges. We throw out around 10kg each, every year. At chicken high school graduation, every one of the poor fuckers gets a novelty certificate declaring them 'Most Likely To Be A Leftover'.

As with most of my recipes, this one's vague and forgiving. If you start by dicing your leftover chicken and seeing how many cups it fills, you can adjust your other ingredients accordingly. Even if you do fuck up the Year 6 math required to calculate the ratios, it's still going to be pretty great thanks to the miracle of cream and mayonnaise.

Itty-bitty or chunky-wunky?

I like the chicken, potato, carrot and egg diced to about 1.5 cm. Gherkins and spring onions, about half that. Peas, whole. Saying that, I've had versions of this with teeny-tiny dice and while it's more of a paste than a salad, it's still pretty good.

Persian Chicken Salad

~ 4 servings ~

Ingredients

2 cups diced, cooked chicken

4 cups peeled, diced potato

6 hard boiled eggs, peeled and chopped

1 cup frozen peas

1 cup chopped gherkin (Less sugary dill pickles are best, but whatever)

1 cup chopped spring onion

Dressing

1 cup mayonnaise. Yes 1 cup. Don't replace it with low fat yoghurt or any other low fat shit 'cause I'll know.

3 tbsp double cream.

3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

juice of 1/2 lime

1 tsp mustard (not grainy)

1 pinch saffron threads, steeped in 2 tbsp boiling water (optional, but amazing)

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper

---

~ Condescending advice on how to boil eggs ~

I know you're not a five-year-old (I hope you're not a five-year-old, the language here is fucking atrocious.) and you've probably boiled a few eggs in your time, but there's something hugely and disproportionately disappointing about a shell that insists on taking chunks of egg with it, so here's how to avoid egg-rage.

~ Older eggs are better for hard boiling. The shells come away cleaner.

~ GENTLY lower room-temperature eggs into boiling water rather than starting off in cold.

~ Let them boil for 30 seconds before turning the heat down and simmering for 12 minutes.

~ Cool the boiled eggs in a bowl of ice-water for a few minutes - 30 mins if you have it - before peeling.

~ The first crack is the key. Drop the egg on a work surface - bulbous end down - with conviction. There's an air bubble that gives your peeled eggs a slightly flat bum and this drop forces that air up between the shell and the egg, separating the two for a cleaner peel. Science, heh?

---

Method

Dice the things that need dicing.

Bring a large pot of water to the boil and add the diced potatoes and carrots. Let them boil for 3 mins then try a piece or two. When they're cooked through but still have some bite, throw in the peas, bring it back up to the boil for 30 seconds and drain through a colander.

Now pour the cooked vegetables into a bowl of iced water for a few minutes to arrest the cooking. Drain and tip them onto a clean kitchen towel - gently pat dry.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the cooked veg, gherkins, chicken, eggs and spring onion.

Now for the dressing. If you're using saffron water, safe a few drops for presentation.

Whisk all the dressing ingredients except the oil in a mixing bowl until combined. Now whisk in the oil, a drizzle at a time.

Combine the dressing with the chicken and vegetables and stir until combined. The dressing should be enough to bind everything into a dense, mouldable mass.

Pop everything in the fridge to set for a few hours before artfully sculpting your Persian Chicken Salad into a pleasing mound on a dish. I finish up by smoothing the mound out with a silicone spatula and artfully dotting it with saffron water and extra virgin olive oil.

Serve with warm pita bread, and try not to get any in your fabulous moustache.

* Persian vs Iranian

Iran is located in the area once known as Persia, so 'Iranian' and 'Persian' are often used interchangeably. Technically though, 'Persian' is an ethnicity not a nationality - not anymore anyway. Your cultural preferences may also determine whether you call yourself Iranian or Persian. This page does a better job of explaining it if you're interested.