I don't think I ever entered our local Streatham kebab shop before 2am. You just wouldn't. And you definitely wouldn't chance that magical mystery meat, the doner kebab, before you'd enjoyed an entrée of six or seven pints at The Greyhound over the road. I once asked the kebab shop guy what meat the 'Meat Kebab' was. "Meat" he replied. It didn't stop me. At that stage of the evening I wouldn't have cared if it was badger - provided there was lots of it and it was covered in chilli sauce.
You'll be happy to know I can identify all the ingredients in these kebabs, and you won't need half a dozen beers to enjoy them.
Although any leftover roast meat will do (even badger), slow roasted lamb shoulder is particularly spectacular. The fatty meat crisps up on the outside while the middle stays soft and unctuous. The smell when you're crisping the lamb in a pan is sensational. My best friend Sera magically appears by my side as soon as cooking begins.
Ingredients
~ serves 4 ~
For the meat
400g (100g per kebab) leftover roast lamb
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 tsp dry oregano (the Greek stuff that comes still attached to the branch if you can get it)
~ To serve ~
Tzatziki
1 cup Greek yoghurt
1 clove garlic, crushed or grated on a microplane
1/2 Lebanese cucumber
1 tbsp dried mint or fresh dill
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
squeeze of lemon
4 pita or flat bread
Salad
1 ripe tomato, diced
1 Lebanese cucumber, diced
1/4 red onion, diced
pickled chillies
Tzatziki method
Grate the cucumber and let it sit in a colander for a few minutes to drain. You can help by squishing the excess liquid out with the back of a spatula.
Add the grated cucumber to the other ingredients and stir to combine.
Salad method
Really? Just mix the fucking salad.
Meat method
Tear the lamb into thumb-sized pieces. If you have freakishly large thumbs, pop over to a neighbour and use their thumbs as a guide.
Toss the meat with the other ingredients in a bowl.
Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a large frying pan and throw in the lamb. Let it sizzle and catch; You don't want to move it around too much because you're looking for not-quite-burned-but-crispy bits. Add a squeeze of lemon in the last minute to help with caramelisation.
To serve, pile everything into flatbreads, roll it up and eat like the drunkard you used to be. Hic.
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